I chuckled when I drew this card for you guys today and nodded with confirmation. I’ve been simultaneously working on three blogs while also intending on doing an oracle card reading from my new deck for this week. I published the blog on my daughter’s baptism yesterday and was going to publish my blog ‘Healthy Boundaries, Healthy You’, later this week. In light of the ‘Boundaries’ oracle card pulled, why don’t we just condense the two? Apparently, boundaries are a hot topic right now.
A few weeks ago, I ended up in the ER with excruciating leg pain. I feared I had a blood clot as I could not remember injuring it. I could no longer walk on my left leg. After tests and x-rays, nothing was found and the doctors didn’t know what was causing my pain. This wasn’t my first go-around with mysterious symptoms that stumped the doctors. I mean, Spirit had been telling me for a few weeks already to set some boundaries and take time for self-care, guidance I continued to put off for “another day”. I was severely burning myself out and it wasn’t pretty. So for a week I was forced to spend a lot of time in bed where I received hours and hours and hours of messages from Spirit. I got rest and reflected on my life. Then my ankle miraculously healed and I could walk again! I know better. But how many of us know we need to set boundaries and tend to ourselves in order to be healthy, and yet, have trouble acting on it? Why do we do that? Hopefully, I’ll shed some light for ya here.
I realized many people, myself included, have a hard time being responsible for themselves. That’s what it really comes down to. Wait. What? But I’m like über-responsible. Let me try to explain….
All we can control in our lives is ourselves…our thoughts, our feelings, our words, our beliefs and perceptions, and our actions. Yet how many of us take on the responsibility of others in an effort to avoid looking at yourself, or in an attempt to control your environment? Maybe you blame others for your own unhappiness, feel resentful or unappreciated, or avoid responsibility all together and expect others to be responsible for you. Some of this behavior may border on enabling but it can be anything from feeling responsible for other people’s feelings, i.e. ‘My partner is unhappy. It must be because of me. I need to make him/her not unhappy.’ You may feel the need to judge or change someone’s choices or opinions. You may take what they say personally.
Guess what? It’s not all about you. Boundaries. Every single person has the autonomous right to be however they want to be. Everyone is walking their own journey, responsible for themselves, and it’s not our business to interfere. Sure, there may be consequences. Again, not your responsibility, as painful as it can be to watch. Allow others to make their own mistakes, their own failures, their own victories, and learn their own lessons.
It’s hard but as soon as you realize and accept that everyone is walking their own journey and the only person you are responsible for is you, you’ll begin to be able to let go and find peace. Rather than feeling like ‘you have to’ get sucked into other’s dramas, you’ll begin the exciting journey of actually living your own life!
A lot of parents struggle with guilt, questioning whether they are giving their children enough attention, enough stuff, enough experiences. By law, you are only required to provide food, shelter, clothing, and an education for your children. Everything else is a privilege. Of course, you want to give your child your love and time. It is recommended that each child gets 10-15 minutes a day of one on one attention. Kids can get pretty demanding and manipulative trying to get more out of you. I think it’s important to teach children healthy boundaries. Teach them the value of their own responsibility and personal space by modeling it for them, rather than perpetuating a lot of the entitled, spoiled kids we see today.
It’s a normal human trait to desire appreciation and acceptance, yet not when it’s rooted in dysfunction. My self-worth is not rooted in taking care of others and having them validate those distorted efforts.
To serve is to love unconditionally, from a pure, giving, and humble heart, within the scope of your limitations and boundaries, putting your needs first.
Our separateness is just as sacred as our Oneness. Then there’s the whole belief that ‘everyone is a reflection of ourself’ and that ‘everything we attract mirrors our own vibration’. I struggled with that. How could the sociopaths I had attracted into my life be a reflection of me? I have recently learned that those who cross our path aren’t necessarily a mirror image of us but bring up in ourselves that which needs to be healed or revealed within. Maybe it’s an inability to be assertive, a lack of self-love, or to trust your intuition. We all have much room for improvement and many obstacles standing in our way of realizing our full potential.
So our past and present relationships with partners, friends, colleagues, family members, in their dysfunction, can help us to see what wounds we need to heal. And yes, some of those wounds are painfully dark, yet it is a gift to have them brought to light.
We also came here with karmic lessons we wanted to learn. Many believe we choose our parents before we come to this physical plane. Our parents, our first teachers, in spite of their issues, may have been our perfect teachers, reflecting for us the deep lessons we needed to learn for our growth. From this viewpoint, it’s easy to feel love, compassion, and forgiveness for even the most difficult relationships.
As we go through this week, learning to set boundaries, say no when needed, take full responsibility for your own life and happiness, and let go and accept that you can’t control or change others, paying attention to the areas where you yourself can change, remember this is all an illusion. We are all just walking each other home. We have created scenarios to help with our soul’s growth but don’t become attached to the scenarios. Evil forces and falsehood are working hard to create the illusion of separation. Pray for the grace to put your false self to rest, thank your ego for its assistance navigating this world, and follow the lead of your Higher Self. Affirm Divine timing, intervention, synchronicity, and miracles along your path. Be filled with joy that you’ve been blessed with another day and pause to dance with each other along the way!